i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
