that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
