can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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