u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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