why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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