Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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