Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
