i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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