threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
