i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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