I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
