If i come over, it means nothing
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
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They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I love you. Go after that dick
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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