just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
