HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Who died my cat blue again?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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