Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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