JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
