you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
