You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize