Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
