I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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