Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
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Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for