Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We got so high we made milksteak
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"