Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He shit in the fireplace