I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
