We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
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Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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