he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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