Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup