His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.