Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
