dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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