Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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