i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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