we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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