Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
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I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize