this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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