you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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