Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
