Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
