im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
