Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
