I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
