the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You smell like stripper and shame
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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