thus making me awesome and them whores
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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