the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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