he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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