I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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