Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
