This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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