google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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