i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
