we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
