I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
