awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
