ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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