Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
