He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
