Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
